What does LBJ believe in?Well, this, actually:

Yes.. Lyndon grew up in a cold, unhappy, dilapidated Factory on the corner of Blueberry and Cherry, just like all the other Berties.. But he, unlike all the rest, became a devout follower of the Baked-Good Religion. While all of the other Berties were memorizing the virtues of "Don't ask,
Topic Locked," Lyndon was befriending the teachings of Cookie. Now, I'm not normally one to believe what some delicious snack says on the seat of meh pants, but you
must admit, you'd be impressed by a giant Cookie too, if it walked up and gave you a big Chocolatey-Chip hug.
When he was only 3 weeks old, Lyndon found himself sneaking into the Factory Server Room. During these long nights, he would take the left-over honey and assorted fruit and
[delete]stuff the gooey mess in the serial ports[/delete] learn to make modest treats, under the directions of Cookie. They would later become his salvation.
Did you know that LBJ is a War Hero?As we fast-forward to 2005, when our world was under attack during the *Yes, it's vulnerable, but we fixed it months ago, update your *beep* board* Wars, Lyndon heard his call to duty, and enlisted in the STUFFED-CORPS. He served honorably and received many Rank Promotions, from Combat Fodder, all the way up to General of Development, where he was charged with the task of inventing numerous Security measures. Some of which are still in use today.
Cite: see Kitty-CAPTCHA.In mid-2006, LBJ led the call before the Congress of Olympus to take growing violence on the fringe of reality under serious consideration. Although his attempt was noted, the Congress did nothing but lock his topic. >< ... And so left with little choice, he armed himself with baked-goods and flew to the war-torn zone of the IPU. His cape broke and he fell hundreds of centimeters to the ground; dead in the center of the Communist Domo kun's rally. (The rally was in support of vBulletin, as naturally, all Communists use it.)

They attacked and /slapped unrelentingly.

But our friend, Lyndon, took it in stride. Apparently fish don't slap so hard when you're made of soft cuddly material. O_o After three minutes of this, the fierce Domo kun found his only defense: a delicious, perfectly round, honey and sprinkle-topped cookie with extra soft chocolate chips, wrapped in wax-paper that read "Make Cookie happy, stop this." The Domo kun pondered the message and released Lyndon. From then on, the people of the IPU have been fevered phpBB Converts, finding bugs (and even actually reporting them - imagine that). Today, they live happily and in peace. They'll only attack n00bs now, and if you're lucky, you'll spot one doing so.

But Lyndon has long since moved on from this chapter in his life. He wants to help the people of Olympus to move onward into the next page of their development. He believes that if you work hard, follow the coding guidelines, and
read the rules, you should succeed; succeed not only in your efforts to Win elections, but to make the Interweb a better place. Please, envision this image of our humble candidate:

That picture is fake
now, but on November 4th,
you can make it a reality! ^^'
And remember that he'll always less-than 3 you. No matter what.